Patience

Im actually sitting here at work, anticipating a rather slow day...i have already finished what filing i had to do and so i now wait and answer the phones here at the law firm. Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, several people are out of the office today...too bad im not one of them.
When it is slow at work, i have found myself pondering things concerning my life. Today, i got to thinking about how impatient i am. Why must i worry about the future and try to figure out every detail of my life???


Most people do lack patience i suppose. But some stuggle with not being in control, as myself.
I just got out of a 10 month relationship with a guy who i thought i would marry. While in the relationship, i had a sense of control...i was in a relationship and heading into the direction of marriage. I felt like i knew what to expect. Heart crushed and unexpectedly....i am now single and i have no control of what is going to happen. Probably one of the suckiest feelings.
I have no idea what to expect so i am back to wondering if this guy or that guy could be "the one". I dont mean to wonder...it just happens. And i dont really appreciate it!  In my mind, im getting impatient and trying to figure out what the future could hold, while im still trying to make sure ive let go completely of my previous relationship. Yet, all the same while i am stuck wondering if that previous relationship may happen again in the future.
All the questions in my mind, and all the emotions rolling through my being....
All i can say is that i need patience. I have to take one day at a time and enjoy my today and not worry about my tomorrow. Buuuut its hard...my greatest desire is to love a man well and to be the best mother. Buuuuut now is not the time so i have got to do me and be content. Ive got to focus on what i have to offer without being in a relationship and know that there is something great in store for me...whatever it may be.
Lord, give me patience.