And The Green Grass Grows All Around- Contentment

I am sitting here today fully content.

Not being busy doing something, but instead taking a moment to just be is rather refreshing.

There is no greater place to be than in the place you know you are supposed to be.

Now, that is a full thought and i am not sure that you fully understand it. I am not sure that i understand it. I never saw myself being where i am today, right now in my life. I am twenty going on twenty one (obviously...that is what comes next). I am working full time at a law firm as a receptionist, an 8-5 job. Along with piano lessons once a week (which i've put on hold for over a month since i never have time to practice- though i really want to start being more dedicated), i am also apart of a wonderful church where i help in the youth group and am building amazing relationships with young girls and awesome friendships with other leaders. Almost six months ago, a year long relationship was ended with my boyfriend. So i am just learning to live the single life well, while tons of friends are saying "I do" and stepping into married life. The past few months had been rather miserable as i fought the idea of living single and missing the man i honestly thought i would marry. Needless to say, i was not content. My plans of what i wanted were disrupted and i was not happy. I, in a sense, hit rock bottom as i was forced to evaluate where i had placed my hope, and it was not in God. My discontentment brought an incredible learning process that is still progressing, as God has taught me so much and  has opened my eyes to such truth about Him and myself and here recently i have found myself happy with my life, as is. And as i write this it almost brings tears streaming down my face. I can honestly say that i am happy. Where i am today may not be what i pictured for myself a year ago or even 6 months ago (though im pretty sure i didnt have a clear picture in mind), but i know i am exactly where i am supposed to be. And there is such an overwhelming peace that comes with that. I could wish and think of the greener grass on the other side; but for the first time in a long time i dont feel the need to. I am fully content with my life right now. And whoa... is it so freeing.

There is no greener grass on the other side as far as i am concerned, i am where i am supposed to be...and that is green enough for me.The green grass continues to grow all around...and im blooming where i have been planted.

Amazing Love, Full of Grace, Offering Hope- Romans 3:23-24

All of us have sinned, and that sin prohibits us from being in the presence of Holy God. Yet the veil was torn and we are now justified, (a free gift-no payment necessary) by the grace that came through redemption  that came by Jesus Christ. We can now embrace God's presence that dwells within us, in awe of His great love. When we encounter God, humbly yet boldly aknowleging His presence, we release His attributes into the earth. God took on our sorrow so He could offer us joy. He took on our sickness so He could offer us healing. He took on our past so He could offer us a future. Notice i said offer. Justification is a gift that can be received or denied. He took on our sin so He could offer us relationship with Him, so He could freely love us and we could freely love Him, ourselves and those around us.

Though we paid no price to have relationship with Him, He paid a very costly price. He who knew no sin, took on all of our sin and bore all of our transgression. Oh that we could grasp the depth, width, heigth of His lavishing love. Perhaps we would more easily and readily surrender all for the cause of Christ- to know Him and to make Him known.

Clean and Clear and Under His Control :)

It started with a couple of tiny bumps on my chin. Bacteria under the skin. Ugh. I poked and prodded at them causing them to bleed. What was previously so tiny and barely visible was now red and very easy to spot. My roommate jokingly told me that no one could see the breakout on my chin from a mile away and with the lights out- i laughed and chided back that from a mile away and in the dark it could still be seen- almost like a flashing red stop light, hard to miss.

It was horrible. My face is usually pretty clear and i was disgusted with this little area of irritation. What made it worse is that i was going out. I wanted to look my best and flawless so i covered it with makeup to the best of my ability. I think it worked pretty well (im sure it was not as visible to people but i knew what was there)...but...the only thing was that the next day it was still just as red and irritated if not more so. The next morning i was getting ready for work and once again i wanted to cover it up, embarrassed. But i stopped myself when i realized it would only take longer to heal if i kept it masked in makeup.

All of a sudden, a ridiculous breakout on my face became an allegorical moment. A depiction of my heart. How often do i have some hidden bacteria (or wrong motive) that gets poked, then bleeds and is seen but i just cover it up so as to hide it from others? (All the while i know what lies under the mask, though at times i may forget it is there)

There are many times when wrong motives or bad fruits (anything opposite of the fruits of the spirit- joy, peace, patience, gentleness...) show their little (sometimes over-sized) heads due to our circumstances. Our core fears get poked and prodded, and pops out our flaws. So we cover it up with staying busy or appearing to be good enough still or spiritual- anything to make us appear as if we have no underlying flaws.

Is it worth the charade? I dare say it is not. For in covering up our flaws, we slow the process of restoration. In the New Testament, Paul even taught the valuable lesson that it is good to confess one to another; to reveal your flaws for it brings healing. Yet we trick ourselves into thinking that covering it up works best, while the irritation still lies there under the mask, unresolved and unhealed.

This breakout just occurred this past weekend. I stopped trying to cover it up and went to work yesterday and today without anything on it. (Which is not too big of a deal for me since I usually am not one to wear foundation make-up anyway, only for special occasions or as i did to cover up my flaws) And today its not red and irritated. It is still there but is healing and fading. Being exposed, not being masked over, has brought healing.

Who would have ever thought that the undesirable flaws that appeared on my face could teach me such a valuable heart lesson? What are you masking over and preventing from being healed? We fail when we try to appear clean and clear, under our control- we must get real and allow God to clean and clear us and give Him control.

Unfailing Love- Not Failing Lusts

I thought i had love. Yet i found myself impatient.
I thought i was in love. Yet it was really a lack of self control.
I thought i knew what love was. But i was wrong.

If i could redo that time and truly love- i would.
I would have been in no rush to make something happen.
I would have loved enough to trust God and His timing.
I would have not been self-seeking but would have endured frienship without weakening.

This truth of love, unlike my idea of lust would have never failed.
This love in its fullness, never fails.