With You

I wanna be content.

I wanna find who i am in Christ and not seek it from man.

I wanna feel like i am whole and complete within because of Him.

I want God to teach me what it means to truly love.

I wanna fall in love.

I wanna trip over myself in awe of the man that appears before me.

I wanna feel like i do and dont deserve him all at the very same time.

I want him to be all that i ever wanted... and then some.

I wanna see our lives.

I wanna know what lies ahead with our future together.

I wanna pursue our passions that God placed there long ago.

I want me to be all that God has called me to be- with you.

To Whom it May Concern-

I can't wait to love you and be loved by you- as we are loved by God, may we love people.

1 John 3:22-24
22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

I just saw things differently after reading this! In the new testament when i read commandment i always see the Ten Commandments. So before when reading this and other similar verses, i felt like the author was preaching "works". If you keep the Ten Commandments: if you do not lie, if you do not steal, if you do not hate, if you always keep God first...then you are in right standing with God...

I believe that is what much of the church has taught, that was my understanding growing up. It was about measuring up, trying to do right to remain in good standing. I have been learning differently in the past years though, as i have come to more accurately understand grace and God's ulitimate sacrifice that united us once and for all, independent of what i do, don't do, lack or whatever...

So in verse 22,  "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight."- I used to believe it to mean that we get what we want and ask of God when we follow the Ten Commandments, when we are "good"- because that is pleasing to God.

But whoa, in verse 23 it clearly states the commandments, "23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment."

So that means, that irregardless of what we do, don't do- by believing in God's personally named son, Jesus Christ we are found pleasing to God! And out of a true, living relationship with Him, we are enabled to love one another which is His second command. You cannot have one without the other. They go hand in hand. 

Once again, i find the basics of life to be- Love God, and Love People.  

When We Practice Real Love

1 John 3:18

18 My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love.19 This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality.20 It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
21 And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God!22 We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him.23 Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command.24 As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.

The MESSAGE

Umm, there is not much that i can really say. Reading this proves to me that the scripture preaches itself. I was blown away though a few weeks ago when i came across this portion in 1 John!

Cultivation Produces Dependency on God

I just pulled up my blog while at work to see if i could write down a few thoughts since its super slow around here for a change. When my page popped up, my blog title immediately grabbed my attention- "Season to Cultivate." I had no idea how a year ago when i began blogging that would so clearly define this season in my life.
Cultivate means to prepare and use; to loosen or break up the soil about; foster the growth of. The fields of my heart have more than taken a tilling to. Every weakness, every root has seemed to be loosened from the recesses of my heart; at times causing my heart to harden in resistance. Painful and unexpected things have been brought forth, coming to the surface revealing how necessary this process is.
Honestly i thought that my season of "Cultivation" would be about me becoming better, about me becoming who i have always wanted to be- more sweet, more passionate, more loving, more determined, more so able to be used...to be more of a "woman after God's own heart".
Instead of becoming all those things, i was disappointed when i began to see what was under the surface of my heart- loneliness, dissatisfaction, discontentment, anger, bitterness, fear, passivity, complacency. All stemming from self dependency.
As i write this and am caught in thought of what i have been learning, i can not help but realize how self dependent i became by trying to be "good enough" and "better". While trying i just fell further. Because i was self seeking, i began to act on what i wanted and attempted to be satisfied by things that could only offer a mirage of satisfaction. I began to see that "I" cant fix myself, "I" cant be good enough. In all of my effort, it was not enough to be who i knew i wanted to be. That's when i started to understand that Christ never meant for me to fix myself or be good enough. Otherwise, He would have had no need to give up His precious life and endure the trials He faced.
True Cultivation leads to dependency on God, not yourself. We can not dig up those things ourselves, therefore we cannot mend them ourselves. I picture Him as the farmer, and us the field. Because of sin and our experiences growing up that tampered our view of God and His character, our hearts become hardened. It is necessary that we allow constant cultivation, depending on God to uproot and to heal our past experiences and any that come along. And more importantly implant the truth of who He is. Only then can we truly become who He intended for us to be, producing good fruit for the world to see.